


The Sun Is Snowing

by im_just_better_fictionally



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: Election Night, F/M, blame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-20
Updated: 2013-11-20
Packaged: 2018-01-02 04:07:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1052340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_just_better_fictionally/pseuds/im_just_better_fictionally
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Last night I lost the world, and gained the universe." WillxMac spoiler up to 2x07</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sun Is Snowing

“Last night I lost the world, and gained the universe.”   
― C. JoyBell C.  
\-----------  
Mac is sure she's never felt this terrible. Even with all the awful things she's done in her life she's never felt quite this bad.

Not when she cheated on a test in 5th grade.

Not when she lied on her first resume.

Not when she cheated on Will.

Because even when she destroyed his personal life as least he still had his career to hide behind. After Genoa she wasn't so sure he had that and it was all because he trusted her. He trusted her with his heart 6 years ago and she tore it in half. Now he's trusted her with his job and she's fucked him over. Who cares if it was on purpose or not? She didn't and with the way he has been ceremoniously ignoring her this evening he didn't either. As she had seen nary a hair of his since the earlier broadcast she was certain that what he'd been doing.

And it hurt.

She felt more hurt than she thought she was going to as well. More than she felt she was entitled to feel at least. After all she had done a really shitty thing and Will had every right to ignore her, to cut her out of his life. Once again letting her into his life had only ended in his downfall and if her punishment included his dismissal of their ever growing llfriendship, well then that was the very least that she deserved. She had delivered punch after punch to his ever tragic existence and she feared her callous and careless ways would one day kill him. Hurt him to the point of no return. She had a terrible feeling in her stomach that perhaps that was what Geneo was. The final bullet to their tenuous relationship.

She should quit. No, she should let Will fire her. He might get some sort of vengeful satisfaction if he utters the words to end her poisonous grip on his life. Then again William McAvoy bordered on perfection and his range rover sized heart might insist on her staying. Let her go through a real life purgatory. That would be a problem. As much as she would love to stay- as much as she would kill to be a permanent fixture in the life of her Billy- eventually she would fuck him over. Not that there was really any area left in his life for her to destroy. She's obliterated pretty much everything that matters to him at this point so really the only harm in her staying would be that she would be a reminder of everything he'd lost. He'd look at her and wouldn't just think of just their failed relationship but also how she caused him to have a failed career. How she turned him from the affable anchor to disgraced journalist in the space of one report. She thought after she broke his heart- no not just broke but toasted over a Bunsen burner before letting it deteriorate in acid- that perhaps her ability to EP him was her saving grace. That maybe she could atone for her betrayal by aiding his evermore successful career and she really felt she was. No, he said he trusted her so she definitely was. It was just that she fucked him over a week later. 

They had come so far in their relationship that Mac felt he was bordering on forgiveness and now... well now they are both probably going to lose their job and she's never going to see him again and all while having to live with the knowledge that its entirely her fault. 

So she should quit. It's the very least she can do, no matter how much it might hurt her. Yet as much as she knew she should quit, move on, let Will have his freedom, getting out of her swivel chair and walking to his office was among the hardest things Mac ever made herself do.

She standing outside his office, strategically placed so that she can see him but he can't see her. Not at least until she takes that step forward (both physically and metaphorically), towards Will and yet away from him. She's so so scared. She takes that step and knocks on his glass door alerting Will to his guest. She walks in with a calculated sway of the hips and she can feel Will's eyes roam her body and good God, she loves that feeling and good god she's going to miss that feeling. 

“Mac.” He sounds surprised that's she there yet not exactly unhappy. Mac would certainly find it easy to believe he knew why she was there and was looking forward to firing here if it was for the empathetic look in his eyes. A look that told her he didn't want to do what he was about to do. Fire her. “How are you? You look exhausted. You really should try and sleep.”

“Fire me Will.” Rip it off like a bandaid. That was a good way of doing things. Do it as fast and pain proof as possible. “You are the only one that can do it.”

“Wow, you really do need that sleep Mac because if you think for one sec-”

She didn't understand why he was arguing with her. This is what he wanted. A Mac-less life is what he deserves. She doesn't want to hurt him anymore like she had been for the past weeks. It was all she had been doing. “Will, you have to. I am to blame for everything and I-I don't deserve to run NewsNight anymore. I endangered- no I destroyed the credibility of this entire show. I was the fucking glass of mirrors or whatever the fuck happens at the end of Don Quiote...”

“Knight of the Mirrors Kenzie, Knight of the Mirrors and it completely unrelated...”

“... and you trusted me and I broke it... again.” Whatever Will had began to say was soon cut short by the last statement from Mackenzie. She could see the shocked look in his eyes and she didn't understand. She did break his trust for the second time now.

“Mac, that is-is so completely-just so completely...”

“True? Accurate? Heartbreakingly right? You pick.”

“...wrong. I was going to say wrong. Is that really that you think? That because I said I trusted you that this is all your fault.”

\--------------------------

“Yes because it is my fault! Everything is my fault. All of it. The whole shebang.” The tears that had been pooling in Mac's chocolate eyes began to spill. The red rimmed eyes held so much pain that it broke Will's heart. He didn't understand how Kenzie, his Kenzie, could be blaming everything on herself. No, actually he could and he should have seen this coming. He had spent all afternoon trying to process when he should have been here helping hold NewsNight together like Mac had been. William should never have left her alone allowing her mind to fall into the mentality that this burden was hers alone to carry.

“What is your this ‘everything’ that is your fault Mac?” It was this that was truly confusing Will. What other then Genoa could she possibly have convinced herself that is her fault.

“This whole mess of a fucking office. Because the first day I worked here I pushed Jim to date Maggie and now he's fucking depressed and long distance dating someone he doesn't really love. Then not only did I help fuck up Don and Maggie but I allowed her to go to Africa! I gave her a fucking $100 bill and sent her on her merry fucking way. If I hadn't been so self involved I might have noticed the absolute ass that Sloan was dating and she might never have been hurt by the photo saga. I fucked everyone in this office over including the one man I will always love , you!” All Will could do as the frail brunette crumbled into his couch was catch her in his arms. Will held her close and let her cry it out. She had obviously been holding all this in for months, ever since this mess began, and it was unhealthy of her not to let it out. Eventually, as she was held chest to chest with William, her breathes evened out and she was able to speak. “I-I'm so sor-”

“Don't!” Will sternly warned.“I don't want to hear any apologies come out of your mouth again tonight. Your going to listen and your going to listen good. None. Of. This. Is. Your. Fault. None. Who's fault is it? It's Jerry fucking Dantana's and Leone is right; he isn't going to get one fucking dollar from us.”

“Y-your wrong Billy! He's going to win and he's going to destroy your reputation even more and it's all my f-fau-” Will could see Mac breaking once again and he had to stop it. He had to make sure she understood. She was the love of his life. She has been since the moment he met her and maybe shed fucked up but it wasn't her fault. As he looked into her chocolate brown eyes, beautiful despite the red rimed and bloodshot eyeballs, he realized he'd forgiven her. He wasn't sure when but he realized that at some point hating her was more painful than loving and trusting her. After all the therapy he'd put himself through he'd finally learnt what forgiveness was. This ‘one day’ when he'd finally forgive Mac had arrived because he finally understood. He loved her. He didn't want to see her in pain. 

“This isn't your fault Kenzie. Truly it isn't. You want me to fire you? Well Hon, that ain't happening. I love you and we are going to weather this shit storm together.” 

There he'd said it. 

He'd finally admitted into her. 

He loved her. 

He wanted her.

“William.” So why did her eyes say she didn't believe him?

“Mac.”

“Y-you don't lov- you sh-shouldn't say things like that? Things you don't mean of at least things you'll regret tomorrow. It... those words... I should earn them back and all I've done is hurt you. Again and again.” 

He really was going to have to spell this out for her.

“I don't know how else to fucking say this Mac. Just because Geneo blew up in our faces it doesn't make me trust you any less. You- we all were being fed incorrect information from different sources that we all thought were reliable.” Will grabs the hands of a shocked Mac as began the second part of his speech. “I love you Mac. I never stopped. Ever. True for a while there I was angry because you really, really hurt me but I forgive you. I forgive and I am able to tell you that I love you because you have earned it. You've earned by coming back and saving NewsNight. You earned it by sticking through me during Brian and his article and Nina. You earned it because you were there when my father died. You earned it because you are an incredible and beautiful woman and I want- I want to spend the rest... the rest...” 

Suddenly the hears were turning in Wills head and he ran to his desk. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with this woman and by god he wanted the rest of his life to start now. As he pulled opened his desk draw however he realized that he couldn't possibly give this marvelous woman the ring that he had used as a prank but what else could he possible use. Use as he was about to give up he spied a paper clip on the edge of his desk. He quickly grabbed it and bent it into a circle and made his way over to a very confused Mackenzie McHale. As he got onto one knee his EP began to protest.

“Will, what are you-”

“I love you. No matter what happens. No matter how this ends. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and to quote Harry ‘when you realism you want to spent the rest of your life with someone you want the rest of your life to start straight away.’ I love you Mac and everything you are and I can't picture you as anything but my wife.”

Before Will can think of anything else to day his exuberant EP's lips are on his and its like all the bad in the world has suddenly disappeared. Who cares if you might lose your job, might have a destroyed reputation if it ended with Mckenzie McHale's lips on yours. Anything was worth that. Maybe they could retire and live on a secluded beach and then they could spend all their days doing this. Kissing and loving and just being with the other. 

God, he loved this woman.

\----------------------------------

Eventually Mac plied her lips off of Wills for the sole reason that she hadn't yet given him an answer. Not that she really needed to say the words. The passionate kiss she'd just landed on his lips was surely an answer enough. God, how could she be this lucky. How could she be so fortunate to not just have one chance with this man but two? “Yes,” she muttered against Wills lips. She'd repeated the three letter word over and over again as though comprehending all her good fortune.

Sure, early this evening she may have lost her world but by gaining Will she'd gained a whole universe.

She's certain the trade off is well worth it.

She never thought she'd say it but thank god for Jerry Dantana and his jerky ways.

The end.


End file.
